Darth Pope and Santa Man

So lots of people are excited about World Youth Day in Sydney at the moment. I suppose it’s a good thing. Lots of young people gathered in peace and joy gawking as the Pope Mobile passes them by. But this has got to be the highlight of the event. A friend of mine visited China recently. At the Great Wall, he could hear a faint noise. Upon closer inspection he saw a bunch of Christians singing – in one of the most remote places on the planet. I wittily remarked that Star Wars fans are like charismatic Christians – you can find them anywhere. Looks like I was right. Check out the guy on the end. He could be the Anti-Pope. Put on your best Emperor voice and repeat with me – “Rise, Lord Vader.”

While we’re on the topic of old men in colourful cloaks – do you reckon Father Christmas could be a mutant? The evidence is overwhelming. Just read this summary from a wonderful discussion on the Comic Book Resources X-Men forum, with a nice reply from Marvel editor Nick Lowe. This is why I love being a fanboy. The depth of research is certainly impressive and the argument is an interesting one. What better way to celebrate Christmas in July than to have Marvel declare that the generous bearded one is a mutant! I mean, he wears a colourful costume, has a nifty Santa Mobile (or sleigh) a multitude of side-kicks (elves) and is able to travel at tremendous speeds while secretly helping those in need. Plus, he’s mysterious. Now all he needs is a tragic origin and a top notch arch enemy and he can be fighting alongside Wolvie in no time.

We’ve been discussing this in the X-Forums of CBR. There have been two references that Santa Claus is a mutant. The first, which was dismissed, was in the “Generation X: Holiday Special” #1 where Jubilee sees St. Nick and just wonders if he is, in fact, a mutant. We dismissed that as, “Well, Jubilee is a moron.”

However, in the “Marvel Holiday Special” of 1991, there is a story apparently written in continuity as right after “Uncanny X-Men” #97 and before the Christmas issue of “Uncanny X-Men” #98, where Cerebro detects a new highly powered mutant and Xavier sends out Wolverine, Nightcrawler, Storm, Banshee, and Colossus to try and recruit the person. Simultaneously, the Brotherhood (Toad, Mastermind, Blob and Unus the Untouchable) sense the mutant as well, and both groups go and do battle with the prize being this new mutant as a member of their team.

Said powerful mutant is revealed to be a reality-warping mutant…who also happens to be Santa Claus. At the end of the battle, Santa explains that Christmas isn’t a time to be worried about recruiting mutants, and uses his reality-warping powers to turn the naughty Brotherhood into action figures and teleports the X-Men to a location where they were supposed to meet Cyclops and Phoenix to go shopping.

Now, I ask you about this in hope that it will be rendered “not canon,” because if it is…

Santa Claus is not listed as one of the 198. Therefore, he lost his powers on M-Day due to the Scarlet Witch’s magic. And if he lost his powers, well…Wanda Maximoff killed Christmas in Marvel-616. And I don’t think that’s an act she’ll ever be redeemed of.

Hopefully, you can give us a straight answer to end this hilarious debate…we’re running out of jokes to tell about it in the thread.

NL: We’ve been dreading the asking of this question. Now, please pledge that you’ll keep the answer of this confined to the CBR Boards. You make very good points, WorstBlogEver. But there’s a book that takes a lot of initiative when avenging things that has been dropping hints of another mutant that is “off the books.” I can’t rule out that Mutant Zero and Santa Claus aren’t two different people.

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